Shadow Work

As stated in my page on the ego, "Your ego determines what gets stored in your subconscious and what gets discarded. Now considering your ego is based on...fallacies, it is safe to say your ego is storing garbage in your subconscious and throwing out the good stuff. The garbage it retains creates addictions, and those addictions create life struggles."

Imagine your subconscious standing by itself in a dark room. It has no senses. It cannot taste, smell, hear, touch or see anything. It solely relies on your ego to feed it information. But if your ego is harboring nonsensical addictions that society conditioned you with, then that is essentially what you are feeding your subconscious, and by that, you are programming your subconscious. The bad programming of your subconscious leads to bad habits, which leads to addictions and thus life struggles.

Your shadow work is directly correlated to your three lower earthly chakras which are, the root chakra, sacral chakra, and the solar plexus chakra. They are also known as the Chakras of Matter., Your three lower earthly chakras are also directly correlated to your ego. See how it is all connected? That is because everything is connected in the Universe.

When conducting your shadow work, it is imperative to start with your root chakra. This chakra involves fear, safety, security and being grounded. You cannot ascend if you are not first grounded. Much of the online spiritual community would have you believe that you need to focus on your third-eye chakra first, but that is dangerous. Our page on the ego explains why it is dangerous.

During your shadow work, you learn to cleanse, purify, unblock,, and align your three lower earthly chakras (which means you are also taming and controlling your ego and releasing what does not serve your higher good). When you are successful with those three chakras, your kundalini, (prana or chi), will flow to your heart chakra. Your heart chakra is the connecting chakra between your three lower earthly chakras and your three upper spiritual chakras. From your heart chakra, your kundalini naturally flows up to and through your upper spiritual chakras.

For example, let us say you decide to start with your throat chakra instead of your root chakra. Now, your throat chakra involves speaking, honesty and expression to name a few. Even though you believe you have done tremendous work on your throat chakra, you still have a fear of engaging in conversation with strangers. That is because you did nothing with your root chakra, which involves fear. The same concept goes if one decides to start with their third-eye chakra. When you open your third eye chakra, you will attain downloads, new information, knowledge, and wisdom. However, because you did not contend with your three lower earthly chakras (correlated to your ego), all within your shadow work, first, all of that new knowledge and wisdom will be in contrast to what your ego believes. This leaves you in a constant battle with self. You will have wisdom battling the concepts your ego is not willing to let go of. All because you decided to take a spiritual shortcut, instead of doing the shadow work. This directly leads to spiritual egoism and spiritual narcissism. 

Unlike society's dictates, there are no rules or regulations to one's spiritual journey or shadow work. You simply do what works for you with one concept to keep in mind which is, DO NO HARM, to yourself or another, in any way.

1. Decide if you will seek a life coach or do shadow work on your own

You do not have to seek out a life coach to do shadow work. However, it can be helpful to have someone else to guide you through the process. A trained professional can spot patt,erns within you that you may not be aware of. They can also give you the tools you will need to deal with any triggers you may uncover.

Plus, life coaches can provide you with personalized prompts to guide you through your shadow work journey. We do not recommend mainstream therapy as they are regulated by the very artificial applications your shadow work is trying to rid.

I offer several life coaching programs that can assist you in your shadow work, which can be viewed HERE.

2. Practice catching yourself

To start shadow work, it is important to spot your inner shadow. To do this, you can start by spotting bad habits you may have. What patterns do you tend to repeat in your life that you feel are holding you back? 

You should also pay attention to your triggers to spot your shadow. Triggers remind you of things like past trauma, the things you are afraid of and do not innerstand, or maybe not have the patience for, which are usually associated with your shadow. Those triggers are messages to help you realize your shadow wants to be seen.

When you catch yourself with a bad thought, immediately tell yourself, "This does not belong to you, nor does it serve you. Get rid of it." Get in the habit of asking yourself three questions before you think, say or do something, "Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?" This is also a good opportunity to practice the pause.

 4. Avoid shaming (or being ashamed of) your shadow

Embrace your shadow and have compassion for yourself. Remember that it is tough to not feel accepted, especially by yourself. People typically beat themselves up for making mistakes, but what they tend to forget is your past mistakes were life lessons, not life sentences. Your shadow work is not a race. You are exactly where you need to be right here and now. So go easy on yourself.

5. Meditate to observe your triggers

Notice the triggers that cause emotional reactions within you. Then, you can meditate on them so you can step back and observe what is happening. Observe without being judgmental. When emotions come up, simply become aware of them and let them go.

For an explanation on some different styles of meditation, visit our page HERE. We also offer guided meditations.

6. Keep a shadow journal

A shadow journal is a safe and practical way to express all sides of yourself. You can let out your thoughts, both light and dark, using the written word.

You can make it a daily practice to write in your journal. Do not censor yourself. Let it all out. Write whatever comes up without overthinking it. At first, what comes up may feel uncomfortable, but it is important to lean into it if you want your shadow self to feel heard.

7. Express your inner shadow artistically

Art is a powerful way to let your shadow self express itself. Allow yourself to feel all the emotions you need to feel when you are creating art, even if they are dark. Express them while using the medium of your choice. This can be painting, sculpture, singing, digital art, music, or anything else you want.

Do not be afraid to be spontaneous. Create what your inner self wants to create, no matter what it looks like.

8. Start an inner dialogue

You can learn from your shadow by having an inner conversation with it. To do this, you can use a process similar to meditation. Ask your shadow some questions and wait for an answer.

Keep an open mind, even if it feels weird. Journal the answer and make sure that you are listening without judgment.

9. Use affirmations

Affirmations are a great tool to use in your shadow work but, there is in fact a catch. If you simply repeat affirmations with the wrong intentions, emotions and feelings, then the affirmation will have no positive effect on you. You have to recite your affirmations with positive intentions, emotions and feeling. You have to believe in them.

Many believe they can simply recite "I am" affirmations and all is well. That may be true to an extent, but "I am" affirmations are typically geared for the root chakra. Here is a list of affirmations starts, for each chakra.

Root Chakra - I am...

Sacral Chakra - I feel...

Solar Plexus - I can, (do)...

Heart Chakra - I love (forgive)...

Throat Chakra - I speak (express)...

Third-Eye Chakra - I see...

Crown Chakra - I know (innerstand)...

Of course there are more techniques one can utilize though.

Mirror Technique Personalized

Stand in front of a full length mirror completely naked. Now just observe. What are you feeling? Love? Shame? Embarrassment? Whatever you are feeling, simply acknowledge it and let it go.

There are two things to consider, you have a soul and a spiritual house. Your body is merely an avatar; a holographic projection of your inner reality. It does not define you. It is simply a place where your soul resides while in this 3D realm, hence it is your spiritual house.  

Next, while looking yourself deep in the eyes, verbally out loud call yourself out on everything you have done, said and thought, that you know in your heart of hearts was wrong. You will not finish with a dry eye. Why is this part important?  

When it comes to traditional praying, you think the prayer in your head, your eyes are closed or you are staring at an inanimate object. In doing this Mirror Technique, you are facing the shame and humiliation of being called out verbally, especially by yourself. A little humility breeds humbleness.  
  

Now after you have finished and wiped your tears away, still standing naked in front of the mirror, out loud tell yourself, “I forgive you [your name]!” Then tell yourself, “I love you unconditionally [your name]!” Then give yourself a hug and smile. Have a conversation with yourself. There is nothing wrong with that. Have fun with it! Learn to laugh at and with yourself!  
  

This Mirror Technique is crucial in the beginning of the healing process of one's shadow work because one cannot move forward in a positive light with negative baggage. How can one expect to be true, just, and honorable with others if they are not first true, just and honorable with themselves? It will be virtually impossible to forgive others and love them unconditionally if you cannot first learn to forgive and love yourself unconditionally. If you love yourself unconditionally, then technically speaking, you are never alone. You will always be in good company! 

You know that voice in your head? The one that carries on with different dialogues? You may think it is you, but it is not. You have simply unconsciously attached your voice to it, which gives you the illusion it is you. It is a series of conditioned thoughts and their associated characters that are having a conversation, and for many people, that conversation is typically negative.

That voice in your head, all those conditioned thoughts, the characters, the dialogues, all of it, are created by your ego. Your ego is created by societal beliefs. So in all essence, these societal beliefs are not doing any justice to your ego if they are enabling the ego to create negativity in its many forms.

We all know taming and controlling the ego is the goal in shadow work, but in order to do that, you have to separate yourself from all the artificial applications that society offers you. Working on your ego is one of the first steps in shadow work while on your spiritual path. It is a simple process. But what makes it hard to leave these artificial applications, is the attachment you have allowed your ego to create. Again, all because these societal beliefs have done your true self an injustice.

There is a common saying, or a belief to "kill the ego" or "death of the ego" but that should never be your goal. You need your ego, as it harbors your natural instincts of fight, flight, freeze and hide. Your shadow and ego need each other.

In order to explain these concepts, we have to get a bit personal here. It will make sense in the end.

Society tells us there are special classes of citizens who typically get special privileges, or considerations. Organized religion tells us there are special chosen ones, that are above everyone else. And of course,  the trendy new-age spiritual community strives to convince the masses there are chosen ones, or spiritual elites.

Illusory techniques of division, designed by man, in this agreed upon cognitive model of reality, are utilized, to dumb down the populace in order for them to accept these artificial applications, which keeps you in a low vibrational state; locked into this 3-D realm. These divisional tactics hinders one's ability to be effective in their shadow work, which is why it is imperative to separate oneself from it all.

This agreed upon cognitive model of reality (society), as well as organized religion and the trendy new-age spiritual community, also convinces you that you are broken and need to heal according to their dictates. That is living under dogmatic rule.

In society, there is a lot of talk about looking externally for things like love, happiness, forgiveness and salvation. Many will even look externally to place blame for their thoughts, words and actions. But there is little to no talk about looking internally for love, happiness, forgiveness and salvation. Lest we forget to look internally and take personal responsibility and accountability for one's own thoughts, words and actions.

Now this is where it gets to the three concepts to consider in your shadow work.

Are you broken like everyone states? No, you are not broken. You simply need to tame and control your ego and release what does not serve your higher good; hence shadow work.

Do you need to heal? Yes, you do, but not according to the dictates of others. Again, that would be dogma. You simply need to transcend your past-life karma, and generational karma and heal from your current life trauma. If you do not contend with your current life trauma, and you reincarnate back to earth, that current life trauma that you did not contend with becomes past-life karma, and it gets tacked on to the past-life karma you have. When you heal from generational karma, not only are you healing yourself, you are also healing your ancestors. See how this works? It is rather simple.

Contrary to popular belief, there are four aspects of the self; the mental, emotional, physical and spiritual. You cannot have one without the other three. They are a package deal. Your shadow work will involve all four aspects of self.

Inner child work—also known as inner child healing—is a deeply restorative practice that involves reconnecting with and nurturing the part of ourselves that carries the emotional experiences of our early years. This aspect of us, often hidden beneath layers of adult responsibilities and coping mechanisms, holds the memories, beliefs, and unmet needs formed during childhood. When those needs for love, safety, validation, or innerstanding were not adequately met, we often develop attachment wounds that continue to influence our adult behavior, emotional responses, and relationships.

Inner child healing provides a pathway to acknowledge those wounds with compassion and awareness. It invites us to revisit moments from our formative years—not to relive the pain, but to offer the acceptance, safety, and presence that may have been missing at the time. This process is not merely reflective; it’s actively reparative. Through intentional exercises, meditative visualizations, journaling, or guided therapy, we learn to listen to the voice of the inner child, identify the subconscious patterns it holds, and meet those unresolved needs from a place of conscious care.

By doing this work, we begin to innerstand why we may react with fear, defensiveness, or emotional withdrawal in situations that trigger core wounds. These reactions often stem from a younger version of ourselves still seeking protection or approval. When left unhealed, the inner child may continue to drive behaviors such as people-pleasing, self-sabotage, codependency, or emotional numbness. But when we turn inward and offer our inner child the love and support they were denied, profound transformation occurs.

Inner child work also allows us to rediscover the parts of ourselves that may have been suppressed—our playfulness, creativity, wonder, and intuitive knowing. These qualities often become buried beneath survival mechanisms developed in response to pain or neglect. Healing the inner child helps restore a sense of wholeness, reminding us that we are not broken—we are simply returning to the self we were always meant to be.

This process often intertwines with shadow work, as many of our shadows originate from childhood wounds. By bringing compassion to the inner child and giving them a safe space to be seen, heard, and held, we create new neural pathways in the brain that promote emotional regulation, self-trust, and secure self-attachment.

Ultimately, inner child healing is not about assigning blame to parents or caretakers, but about reclaiming the power to give ourselves what we never received. It is a journey of radical self-parenting—a return to innocence, a restoration of worth, and a homecoming to the heart.

The concept of the inner child was first explored by renowned psychologist Carl Jung, who recognized that within each adult resides a younger, often unconscious part of the self shaped by early experiences, emotions, and unmet needs. This inner child holds the raw, unfiltered emotional responses from our formative years—responses that, when left unacknowledged, can continue to influence our behaviors and emotional patterns well into adulthood.

When we become disconnected from this inner aspect of ourselves, we lose conscious awareness of a vital part of our psyche. As a result, emotional regulation becomes more difficult, and we may find ourselves reacting to present-day situations from a place of unhealed pain or vulnerability. These reactions are not necessarily rational—they are expressions of the wounded inner child trying to be seen, heard, or protected.

For instance, an adult may have an intense emotional reaction that resembles a child’s tantrum, or they may withdraw in shame and isolation, echoing feelings of abandonment or unworthiness first experienced in childhood. Under stress, some people might shift rapidly between emotional states, mirroring the unpredictable emotional landscape of a child trying to make sense of a confusing or threatening world.

These behaviors are not flaws—they are signals. They are invitations to turn inward and attend to the neglected parts of ourselves that still carry emotional memory. When we begin to reestablish a connection with our inner child, we create space for profound emotional healing. This reconnection is not about reliving the past, but about offering the compassion, presence, and security that the inner child needed but may not have received.

Through inner child work, we can begin to soothe old wounds, reframe painful memories, and provide the nurturing that allows emotional maturity and self-awareness to flourish. In honoring the voice of the inner child, we don’t become childish—we become whole.

An inner child wound refers to a painful or damaging experience—often repeated—that a person endured during their early developmental years. These experiences may have involved emotional neglect, rejection, criticism, abandonment, or other forms of unmet needs that left a lasting imprint on the psyche.

When left unacknowledged or unhealed, these early wounds often evolve into unresolved trauma that continues to affect us in adulthood. You may notice this when you react in ways that feel disproportionate to the situation or behave in ways that don’t align with your present self. In these moments, it’s often the wounded inner child expressing emotions that were never fully processed or validated.

This part of you isn't irrational—it’s simply trying to be heard. Inner child wounds manifest through emotional triggers, patterns of self-sabotage, fear of vulnerability, or intense responses to stress. Recognizing when you're reacting from this place allows you to pause, reflect, and begin offering the compassion and care that the younger version of you has long been waiting for. Healing begins by honoring the pain, not denying it.

When the inner child is triggered, you may find yourself reacting in ways that feel inconsistent with your adult self—behaviors or emotions that seem disproportionate or out of character. These reactions are not irrational; they are echoes from a younger part of you still seeking safety or resolution.

For example, someone might become intensely anxious after being a few minutes late to work, fearing public humiliation, harsh criticism, or even termination—despite having a spotless record and supportive colleagues. This emotional overreaction may trace back to childhood experiences in an unstable or abusive home, where minor mistakes were met with severe punishment, ridicule, or rejection. In such cases, it’s not the adult responding to the present—it’s the wounded child reliving the past.

However, it’s important to innerstand that the inner child is not solely a source of pain or distress. It also carries the essence of joy, wonder, and authenticity. Think back to a moment when you felt spontaneous delight—perhaps while playing, receiving good news, or doing something that made you feel alive. That sense of excitement and unfiltered happiness is your inner child shining through in a healthy, radiant way. These are positive inner child activations that remind you of your inherent capacity for joy and lightness.

Even if you feel disconnected from those feelings, they are not lost. You can still access them by gently reconnecting with your inner child through creativity, play, self-expression, and emotional honesty. Within that connection lies the potential for both deep healing and joyful rediscovery.

Engaging in inner child work can be a profoundly emotional journey, particularly for those who carry a history of trauma. Because this process often brings buried memories and deep-seated pain to the surface, it’s important to approach it with care and self-compassion.

If your past includes traumatic experiences, it’s strongly advised not to navigate those memories alone. Revisiting painful or overwhelming events without proper support can risk retraumatization, making healing more difficult rather than restorative.

Working alongside a qualified professional—such as a psychotherapist, trauma-informed counselor, or a skilled past life regression therapist—can provide the safe, grounded space needed for true healing. With their guidance, you can explore difficult memories with greater clarity and emotional stability, ensuring that your inner child work is not only transformative but also constructive and empowering.

Working with a certified professional—such as a trauma-informed therapist or wholistic healing practitioner—can provide powerful guidance as you begin the process of reparenting your inner child. However, there are also deeply meaningful steps you can take on your own. At its core, reparenting is the conscious act of offering yourself the love, protection, validation, and emotional nourishment that you may not have received in your early years, or did not receive in the way you needed most.

Reparenting your inner child means becoming the stable, supportive caregiver your younger self longed for. It’s a process of meeting unmet needs with compassion, safety, and presence—no longer waiting for others to heal the wound, but showing up for yourself in the most nurturing way possible.

You might begin by forming a gentle dialogue with your inner child. Choose an age that feels intuitively significant—whether it’s age 5, 8, 10, or 12—and imagine yourself sitting beside them. Ask how they’re feeling. Ask if they have anything to share with you. Then, simply listen. Approach the dialogue with mindfulness and intention, allowing their words, emotions, or silence to guide your next steps.

Another method is to write a heartfelt letter directly to your inner child. Speak from your current self with warmth and honesty. Afterward, you can invite your inner child to write back. This two-way communication helps bridge the emotional gap between who you were and who you are now, offering healing through written expression.

Offer your inner child affirmations they may have never heard, or needed to hear more often: “I love you.” “I value you.” “I’m proud of you.” “I hear you.” “You’re safe with me.” “I’m sorry you went through that.” These phrases, when spoken aloud or silently during moments of reflection, can have a profound impact on emotional restoration.

You can also look at childhood photos of yourself and speak directly to the image, telling your younger self all the words they longed to hear. This exercise not only fosters empathy but allows you to soften any harsh inner narratives and begin rewriting the emotional story with tenderness.

Reflect on what once brought you joy as a child—whether it was painting, dancing, building things, climbing trees, or playing make-believe—and begin to reincorporate those passions into your life now. These seemingly simple activities reconnect you to your natural curiosity, creativity, and sense of freedom—gifts often left behind during the rush to grow up.

Finally, consider meditative or creative visualization practices that allow you to meet and connect with your inner child in sacred space. Guided meditations can help you journey inward to a safe sanctuary where you can sit beside your younger self, hold their hand, or embrace them with unconditional love. In these quiet moments, your nervous system can begin to relax, and the emotional body can finally exhale.

The process of reparenting is not about erasing the past—it’s about reclaiming your power in the present. It is an act of deep spiritual and emotional sovereignty, where the love you may have sought outside yourself is now cultivated within. Over time, this inner bond becomes a steady foundation of healing, self-worth, and wholeness.